Please read my mini-story and comment/rate/feedback!!!!!?

This is great, alot of powerful imagery, full of drama and emotion. one tiny comment though, i think the description of how he rescued her from the car crash should be more dramatic and frantic. like when you say"he took the seat belt off" its very dull for a rushed panicky moment, while you gave the falling rain drops a much stronger emphasis even though it is a more trivial event. "picked her up" "and ran from the car", i think you should really play these events up descriptively because this is the climax almost, where all the action happens, but the way you stated these things lacks the feeling of panic and pion which you want to express. I think this is a great short story, and you can clearly write well, so this is my small critique for you.